So, you’ve been dating someone special and you’re getting along great. You’ve spent long weekends together and even gone on trips. Maybe you’ve even cleared out space in your closet, dresser and medicine cabinet for their sleepovers. Inevitably, there might come a time when you realize that since you’re spending so much time together, you might as well save on the rent and move in. That can be the next natural progression in a relationship. It can also bring that relationship to a screeching halt. Before packing up, you want to make sure that you’re both on the same page. You can get there by asking and answering these questions. Remember, these questions should be asked before the move!
Who Pays for What?
Moving in with someone means there will be a lot of comingling not only with the kitchen pantry and closets but also the finances. It is essential that you work out just who is paying for what each month. That means deciding if you are splitting the rent and utilities right down the line or spreading the responsibilities. Maybe one person pays the rent and the other pays all the other utilities but it balances out. You don’t want to get into a situation where you feel like you’re doing all the heavy lifting when it comes to the bill paying. That can lead to resentment.
Are You Both Signing the Lease?
It makes sense that if you’re moving into an apartment with a lease that you would both have your names on that lease. If you’re moving into space where one of you already has a lease, then you should definitely start a new lease with both names. That allows for both of you to be responsible for the duration of that lease.
What About Grocery Shopping and Meals?
It might be that with a couple, one person dominates with the cooking responsibilities. There is nothing wrong with that provided that person is okay with the arrangement. Folded into cooking is also grocery shopping. This is another issue of finances and who is going to be handling the chore. In ideal situations, you will share both the shopping and the cooking responsibilities. At the very least, the person who does the cooking shouldn’t have to do the dishes!
What Will Be the Cleaning Routines?
If you’ve spent any time together at each other’s place, then you probably know the level of cleanliness that person is used to. It is one thing to keep your own place clean but should you be expected to clean for your partner, too? Like cooking, it might be that one person is happy to do the cleaning but that doesn’t mean they have to do it all. It can help to set up a cleaning schedule and “to-do” list so that the burdens of keeping the place nice are shared.
What is the Goal?
Often couples move in as a matter of convenience. One person has a lease that is ending and instead of renewing, the issue of moving in together comes up. It might be that one partner already has a fantastic place with a roommate who is moving out and you don’t want to give that up. Whatever the inspiration for moving in, you also have to have a discussion of what is the goal? This doesn’t mean proposing marriage on the lease signing day but it would be nice to know that the intention is to continue working on this relationship and plan for a future together. That will make moving in more purposeful.